Parenting tips for ADHD child
Dealing traditionally with the kids is not always the best bet – especially when you have a child with ADHD disorder. Most often what you do is this – “I must have to discipline my child”. With a curious mind to instil good behaviour, discipline and to improve their skills you being a parent get carried away. Instead – change your attitude from “How can I get them to do what I want” to “What can I do to help them”. This will prove to be a game-changer. The following are some of the best parenting tips for ADHD children.
How Often Do You Ask Yourself This Question?
Is my child’s attitude and behaviour truly bad? Is he deliberately doing what he or she should not do? Or whether his behaviour is instinctive or is it out of impulsivity that is forcing him to do so. In general, kids with ADHD know what they should do, but they find it difficult to get themselves to do that. When you change your perspective and see that they have something to do but finding it hard to do so, then you will most likely guide them positively instead of punishing them. This is known as positive reinforcement.
For instance, if your kid got distracted due to an unknown reason – and is not doing his or her homework – then, just relax and take a deep breath. If you scold nothing will work out – your child won’t change. The situation may get worse as your kid may stop doing the work and pay no attention to what you say.
You may feel that it is working, but it doesn’t. In the long run, it is damaging because your kid gets motivated to work out of fear – not out of enthusiasm. Show concern for your child and develop trust – that’s what your child wants. Don’t model what it looks like to lose control.
Do: Be Brief
Before beginning your conversation with your kid – it’s better to try to get his or her attention first. Next, begin with a good note – do keep it short, accurate, simple and precise. Ensure that your child understands even if you make a simple request to him. When you request something big, then it’s time to think about spreading the conversation over a series of days and weeks. If you do like this, your child will get time to process in between.
Don’t: Think Too Far Ahead
When your kid seems to be developing messy habits, then don’t think that he or she will not manage his works in the future. For instance, if the kid is not keeping his messy room clean and tidy, doesn’t mean that he or she will not develop good habits in the future. Don’t force your child to master everything at once – rather support, guide and take him or her through. Your child will learn each skill when he is ready. Don’t worry too much about a future how it looks like rather focus on building the future.
Do: Learn and Be Compassionate
You may not be aware of what exactly is happening inside your child’s brain or its inner working ability. The only thing apparent to you is your child’s behaviour. In conditions like ADHD – your child’s behaviour can be baffling and frustrating to you. Therefore, learn more about your child’s condition and be compassionate and caring.
If you don’t have any clue whatsoever about your child’s condition (ADHD), then don’t worry – just read everything you want about ADHD here on my website. It will help you in understanding your child’s condition better. Be compassionate with your child and yourself.
Don’t: Ask Too Much of Your Child
Children with ADHD don’t have the ability to control their behaviour. They even cannot do well with other children the same age. They don’t exhibit consistency in their day-to-day work; on one day they do better and the very next day they cannot perform better. Therefore, you cannot expect them to be consistent. You’ll both feel a lot better if you meet your child where he or she is at any given moment.
Do: Celebrate the Wins
Whenever your child performs well, celebrate that occasion. Therefore, keep an eye on your child’s grades and achievements. When they raise their grades, just appreciate and praise them. Don’t pay heed even if they leave all the lights on in your house. It’s just a matter of adjusting your perspective – paying attention and celebrating what went well. Positive reinforcement is the best bet – appreciate good work, promote positivity – instead of dwelling on negative aspects. Appreciate the behaviour of your child and highlight the efforts that lead to it. This is when your child does something that they do well. You can positively reinforce your child like this:
“Oh, my dear child! You did your homework exceptionally well,” – I am proud of you. Even you too feel so proud of yourself. “How you did that happen is amazing – let us both of us keep going!
Don’t: Try to Address Every Little Thing
Correcting and dealing with every little thing throughout the day is not literally feasible. A kid with ADHD often goes wrong most of the time as they get redirected all through the day and even every day too. Whenever you try to tackle them, you cannot: as both you and your child wear out. Instead of trying to change all the behaviours of your child, just focus on one or two to work on and let the rest go. If you keep on doing this regularly you will get to them eventually. Moreover, your child will not have – “I cannot do anything right” sort of feeling all the time.
Do: Coach and Collaborate
The problems with an ADHD kid are that you cannot expect him or her to control themselves as their mind is not in a position to tell them how. Therefore, work together and coach your kid so that they develop some skills and do some practice which will let them in making decisions in a safe environment. Your child may not understand if you tell him how to play football without a coach. However, if you use this phrase – How do you think we should play it. Listen to what your child says and then decide which is the best. This is one of the important parenting tips for ADHD child.
Do: Look for the Opportunities
Your son cannot sit still at dinner. He goes on running and moving around – and then seeing here and there. In addition, he got tired of managing his behaviour at school the day long. In this situation, you should shift your anticipation so that your son may not feel disgraceful for committing mistakes. The best bet would be to set a goal for him to settle down for only 2 minutes. If he goes with it then tell him that he would get extra ketchup or else he has to remove plates as each person finishes.
The must-do for you is this – Take care of yourself. Children with ADHD have some complex behaviours that are really disgusting and stressful to handle. At times, ADHD behaviours are tough to deal with. The need of the hour for you is to remain calm and relax as this will help you in imparting more energy and will to handle more and do better always. If you have certain commitments then cut those back and also adjust your standards and schedules. Have sound sleep, take nutritious food, exercise regularly and reduce stress as self-care is also important. The best way to deal with a tough situation is to be prepare, get prepare, help yourself and help your child and family too.
If you are still eager to learn more about your child’s special behaviour and ADHD issues and want more parenting tips for ADHD child, then meet me personally.
Dr Habib Khan Pathan